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Before you can protect your peace, you must understand what real growth looks like.
In Season 5 Episode 2, Daniel "ThaBudd" Nelson and Jane Marie explore the difference between simply counting days and building a life rooted in purpose, stability, and intentional growth.
Together they discuss:
• The difference between abstinence and transformation
• How the brain and body heal over time
• Functional habits that support long-term success
• Building systems instead of relying on willpower
• Practical tools for personal growth and recovery
If Episode 3 challenged you to examine your boundaries, emotional drainers, and sources of distraction, Episode 2 helps you understand the foundation required to create lasting change.
🌐 Resources:
www.absolutelyfocusedradio.com/resources
🎓 Learning Center:
www.absolutelyfocusedradio.com/courses/
📚 AFR Library:
www.absolutelyfocusedradio.com/afr-library/
Because growth isn't measured only by how long you've changed.
It's measured by who you're becoming.
Transcript
1
00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:02,960
Let me ask you something not
quickly.
2
00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:05,320
Take a second and really think
about it.
3
00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:09,400
If nobody could see your
progress, if nobody knew how
4
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:13,360
many days you've been sober, if
nobody was there to applaud you,
5
00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,400
would your behavior still show
that you're growing?
6
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:20,760
Pause because the human body
doesn't grow from applause.
7
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:24,040
Your liver doesn't heal because
someone congratulated you.
8
00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:27,440
Your kidneys don't recover
because someone noticed your
9
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:31,480
streak.
The body heals quietly, cell by
10
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:36,120
cell, system by system.
Sometimes the body begins
11
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,240
healing long before the mind
believes it.
12
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:43,720
So maybe the real question isn't
how long have I been sober?
13
00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:49,080
Maybe the real question is, what
kind of person am I becoming?
14
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:54,240
Pause.
And that question is where real
15
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:57,560
recovery begins.
Welcome to Absolutely Focused
16
00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:03,120
Radio Season 5 Episode 2,
Redefining Success in Sobriety
17
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:09,840
featuring Daniel your sobriety
buddy and Jane Marie with the
18
00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,800
stats and facts from the
sobriety crew.
19
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:18,280
If you listen to episode 1, you
know we began by learning how to
20
00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,640
forgive the version of ourselves
that didn't know better.
21
00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:26,080
Today we take the next step.
Now we ask what does growth
22
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:29,040
actually look like?
Stay focused.
23
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:35,280
Jane, that question you asked,
that one sticks because a lot of
24
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:42,320
people think sobriety is just
about time, 30 days, 60 days,
25
00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:45,400
one year.
But time doesn't necessarily
26
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,600
mean growth.
It's like technology.
27
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:54,440
You can leave your phone powered
on for weeks, but if you never
28
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:58,320
update the software, it still
runs the same old system.
29
00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:04,320
So someone might stop drinking,
but their thinking hasn't been
30
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,680
updated yet.
That's actually a great analogy
31
00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:12,760
because biologically speaking,
recovery really is a system
32
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,560
upgrade.
Alcohol effects several organs
33
00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:18,560
in the body.
The liver processes toxins.
34
00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:21,000
The brain regulates decision
making.
35
00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,760
The kidneys balance fluids and
electrolytes.
36
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,920
When alcohol is used frequently,
these systems become stressed.
37
00:02:27,920 --> 00:02:32,760
But when alcohol stops, the body
begins repairing itself.
38
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:37,080
The liver regenerates tissue.
Brain chemistry begins
39
00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:39,960
stabilizing.
Inflammation throughout the body
40
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,760
decreases.
But all of that healing happens
41
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:45,680
quietly.
Healing rarely announces itself.
42
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:50,040
And let's talk honestly for a
moment, because not everyone's
43
00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,000
recovery looks perfect at the
beginning.
44
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:57,480
Some people stop drinking
publicly, but privately they're
45
00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,720
still struggling.
Maybe they keep a few nips
46
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:03,320
somewhere.
Maybe they take one before going
47
00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:09,560
somewhere so the smell fades.
But the effect kicks in, not
48
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:13,360
because they're bad people, but
because they're still trying to
49
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,960
figure things out.
I know that feeling.
50
00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:19,760
There were times I said I
stopped drinking, but I still
51
00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:25,560
had a couple nips around and in
my mind I told myself I'm good
52
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:29,240
for today.
But looking back, the system
53
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:32,560
wasn't updated yet.
And what you're describing is
54
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:36,360
actually very common.
Alcohol activates the brain's
55
00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:40,040
dopamine reward system.
Even small amounts reinforce
56
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:43,080
that pathway.
Some people also have what
57
00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,240
researchers describe as
addictive behavioral tendencies.
58
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,640
Their brains respond more
strongly to certain rewards.
59
00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:54,040
That doesn't mean weakness.
It means the reward system is
60
00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:57,200
highly sensitive, which is why
recovery benefits from
61
00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:01,840
structure, routines,
accountability, healthy habits.
62
00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,120
Those create new neurological
pathways over time.
63
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,360
And sometimes we tell ourselves
we deserve it.
64
00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:14,600
After work, after stress, after
a long day.
65
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:18,959
But when I look back, I realized
something.
66
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:24,760
While I thought I was avoiding
problems, other things around me
67
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:32,640
were slowly falling apart.
Relationships, trust, Peace of
68
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:36,320
Mind.
So sometimes what feels like
69
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:40,440
relief is really just postponing
the repair work.
70
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,840
Let me ask you something, what
are you avoiding right now?
71
00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:51,280
And if you remove that one
habit, what part of your life
72
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:54,920
might start improving?
Think about the liver like a
73
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:58,880
water filtration system.
Every day it filters toxins out
74
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:02,000
of the body.
When alcohol enters regularly,
75
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:06,160
the liver works overtime.
Eventually the filter becomes
76
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:09,360
overwhelmed.
But when alcohol stops, the
77
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:14,480
liver slowly restores itself.
Cells regenerate, Inflammation
78
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,000
decreases.
The system stabilizes.
79
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,600
Recovery in life works the same
way.
80
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:23,440
Consistency rebuilds the system.
Exactly.
81
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:26,160
Recovery is like installing a
system update.
82
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:31,600
The update doesn't just remove a
virus, it improves performance,
83
00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:37,640
security, stability.
Sobriety works the same way.
84
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:42,760
You're not just removing
alcohol, you're upgrading your
85
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,760
operating system.
If this conversation is helping
86
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:52,000
you right now, take a moment,
Subscribe, like, and share this
87
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,800
episode with someone who may
need it.
88
00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,760
Growth multiplies when you pass
it forward.
89
00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:00,320
And now back to the
conversation.
90
00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:04,720
Before we close this episode, I
want to leave you with something
91
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,440
practical.
Not motivation.
92
00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:11,040
A tool.
Because success and sobriety
93
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:15,840
isn't about counting days.
It's about building systems.
94
00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:21,160
So here's a simple practice.
Pick one behavior this week that
95
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:23,480
proves you're growing.
Just one.
96
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,640
Maybe it's pausing before
reacting.
97
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:28,320
Maybe it's taking a walk when
stress rises.
98
00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:31,800
Maybe it's having one honest
conversation.
99
00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:37,760
Maybe it's choosing patients.
If nobody could see your sober
100
00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:41,480
streak, what behavior would
still show you're growing?
101
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:45,120
That's your metric.
That's your progress.
102
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:50,760
And if you made it this far in
the episode, we have something
103
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:55,360
special for you.
Visit the Resources section of
104
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:59,880
our website.
Download the Episode 2 toolkit.
105
00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:04,840
Inside you'll find a reflection
prompt you can use with ChatGPT
106
00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:08,360
or any AI assistant.
Here's the prompt.
107
00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:13,400
Based on the idea that sobriety
is about building systems and
108
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:18,440
not just counting days, help me
identify one habit or behavior
109
00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:22,240
that would show real growth in
my life right now.
110
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:27,840
Use it, reflect on it, let it
guide you in.
111
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:32,520
Episode 1, we forgave who we
used to be.
112
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:39,600
In Episode 2, we learned how to
measure who we're becoming, and
113
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:45,520
in Episode 3, we'll explore how
clarity begins changing the
114
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:49,000
environment around you.
Thank you for listening to
115
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:56,520
Absolutely Focused Radio Season
5 episode 2, Redefining success
116
00:07:56,560 --> 00:08:01,480
in sobriety.
Remember, download the Episode 2
117
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,560
toolkit in the Resources
section.
118
00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:08,600
If today's episode helped you,
please subscribe and share.
119
00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:15,320
And remember, smile on purpose
because you are the purpose.
120
00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:19,160
Stay focused, stay growing, stay
awesome.
121
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:40,360
Watch the old empire fall.
Young white stand in the
122
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:47,880
strongest standing tall.
You wide.
123
00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:52,440
Take control.
00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:02,960
Let me ask you something not
quickly.
2
00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:05,320
Take a second and really think
about it.
3
00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:09,400
If nobody could see your
progress, if nobody knew how
4
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:13,360
many days you've been sober, if
nobody was there to applaud you,
5
00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,400
would your behavior still show
that you're growing?
6
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:20,760
Pause because the human body
doesn't grow from applause.
7
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:24,040
Your liver doesn't heal because
someone congratulated you.
8
00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:27,440
Your kidneys don't recover
because someone noticed your
9
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:31,480
streak.
The body heals quietly, cell by
10
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:36,120
cell, system by system.
Sometimes the body begins
11
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,240
healing long before the mind
believes it.
12
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:43,720
So maybe the real question isn't
how long have I been sober?
13
00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:49,080
Maybe the real question is, what
kind of person am I becoming?
14
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:54,240
Pause.
And that question is where real
15
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:57,560
recovery begins.
Welcome to Absolutely Focused
16
00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:03,120
Radio Season 5 Episode 2,
Redefining Success in Sobriety
17
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:09,840
featuring Daniel your sobriety
buddy and Jane Marie with the
18
00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,800
stats and facts from the
sobriety crew.
19
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:18,280
If you listen to episode 1, you
know we began by learning how to
20
00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,640
forgive the version of ourselves
that didn't know better.
21
00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:26,080
Today we take the next step.
Now we ask what does growth
22
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:29,040
actually look like?
Stay focused.
23
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:35,280
Jane, that question you asked,
that one sticks because a lot of
24
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:42,320
people think sobriety is just
about time, 30 days, 60 days,
25
00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:45,400
one year.
But time doesn't necessarily
26
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,600
mean growth.
It's like technology.
27
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:54,440
You can leave your phone powered
on for weeks, but if you never
28
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:58,320
update the software, it still
runs the same old system.
29
00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:04,320
So someone might stop drinking,
but their thinking hasn't been
30
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,680
updated yet.
That's actually a great analogy
31
00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:12,760
because biologically speaking,
recovery really is a system
32
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,560
upgrade.
Alcohol effects several organs
33
00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:18,560
in the body.
The liver processes toxins.
34
00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:21,000
The brain regulates decision
making.
35
00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,760
The kidneys balance fluids and
electrolytes.
36
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,920
When alcohol is used frequently,
these systems become stressed.
37
00:02:27,920 --> 00:02:32,760
But when alcohol stops, the body
begins repairing itself.
38
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:37,080
The liver regenerates tissue.
Brain chemistry begins
39
00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:39,960
stabilizing.
Inflammation throughout the body
40
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,760
decreases.
But all of that healing happens
41
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:45,680
quietly.
Healing rarely announces itself.
42
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:50,040
And let's talk honestly for a
moment, because not everyone's
43
00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,000
recovery looks perfect at the
beginning.
44
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:57,480
Some people stop drinking
publicly, but privately they're
45
00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,720
still struggling.
Maybe they keep a few nips
46
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:03,320
somewhere.
Maybe they take one before going
47
00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:09,560
somewhere so the smell fades.
But the effect kicks in, not
48
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:13,360
because they're bad people, but
because they're still trying to
49
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,960
figure things out.
I know that feeling.
50
00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:19,760
There were times I said I
stopped drinking, but I still
51
00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:25,560
had a couple nips around and in
my mind I told myself I'm good
52
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:29,240
for today.
But looking back, the system
53
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:32,560
wasn't updated yet.
And what you're describing is
54
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:36,360
actually very common.
Alcohol activates the brain's
55
00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:40,040
dopamine reward system.
Even small amounts reinforce
56
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:43,080
that pathway.
Some people also have what
57
00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,240
researchers describe as
addictive behavioral tendencies.
58
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,640
Their brains respond more
strongly to certain rewards.
59
00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:54,040
That doesn't mean weakness.
It means the reward system is
60
00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:57,200
highly sensitive, which is why
recovery benefits from
61
00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:01,840
structure, routines,
accountability, healthy habits.
62
00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,120
Those create new neurological
pathways over time.
63
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,360
And sometimes we tell ourselves
we deserve it.
64
00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:14,600
After work, after stress, after
a long day.
65
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:18,959
But when I look back, I realized
something.
66
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:24,760
While I thought I was avoiding
problems, other things around me
67
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:32,640
were slowly falling apart.
Relationships, trust, Peace of
68
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:36,320
Mind.
So sometimes what feels like
69
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:40,440
relief is really just postponing
the repair work.
70
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,840
Let me ask you something, what
are you avoiding right now?
71
00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:51,280
And if you remove that one
habit, what part of your life
72
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:54,920
might start improving?
Think about the liver like a
73
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:58,880
water filtration system.
Every day it filters toxins out
74
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:02,000
of the body.
When alcohol enters regularly,
75
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:06,160
the liver works overtime.
Eventually the filter becomes
76
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:09,360
overwhelmed.
But when alcohol stops, the
77
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:14,480
liver slowly restores itself.
Cells regenerate, Inflammation
78
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,000
decreases.
The system stabilizes.
79
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,600
Recovery in life works the same
way.
80
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:23,440
Consistency rebuilds the system.
Exactly.
81
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:26,160
Recovery is like installing a
system update.
82
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:31,600
The update doesn't just remove a
virus, it improves performance,
83
00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:37,640
security, stability.
Sobriety works the same way.
84
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:42,760
You're not just removing
alcohol, you're upgrading your
85
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,760
operating system.
If this conversation is helping
86
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:52,000
you right now, take a moment,
Subscribe, like, and share this
87
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,800
episode with someone who may
need it.
88
00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,760
Growth multiplies when you pass
it forward.
89
00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:00,320
And now back to the
conversation.
90
00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:04,720
Before we close this episode, I
want to leave you with something
91
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,440
practical.
Not motivation.
92
00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:11,040
A tool.
Because success and sobriety
93
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:15,840
isn't about counting days.
It's about building systems.
94
00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:21,160
So here's a simple practice.
Pick one behavior this week that
95
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:23,480
proves you're growing.
Just one.
96
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,640
Maybe it's pausing before
reacting.
97
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:28,320
Maybe it's taking a walk when
stress rises.
98
00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:31,800
Maybe it's having one honest
conversation.
99
00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:37,760
Maybe it's choosing patients.
If nobody could see your sober
100
00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:41,480
streak, what behavior would
still show you're growing?
101
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:45,120
That's your metric.
That's your progress.
102
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:50,760
And if you made it this far in
the episode, we have something
103
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:55,360
special for you.
Visit the Resources section of
104
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:59,880
our website.
Download the Episode 2 toolkit.
105
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Inside you'll find a reflection
prompt you can use with ChatGPT
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or any AI assistant.
Here's the prompt.
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Based on the idea that sobriety
is about building systems and
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not just counting days, help me
identify one habit or behavior
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that would show real growth in
my life right now.
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Use it, reflect on it, let it
guide you in.
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Episode 1, we forgave who we
used to be.
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In Episode 2, we learned how to
measure who we're becoming, and
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in Episode 3, we'll explore how
clarity begins changing the
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environment around you.
Thank you for listening to
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Absolutely Focused Radio Season
5 episode 2, Redefining success
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in sobriety.
Remember, download the Episode 2
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toolkit in the Resources
section.
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If today's episode helped you,
please subscribe and share.
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And remember, smile on purpose
because you are the purpose.
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Stay focused, stay growing, stay
awesome.
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Watch the old empire fall.
Young white stand in the
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strongest standing tall.
You wide.
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Take control.