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Sometimes the biggest breakthrough isn't changing your circumstances.
It's changing your perspective.
Your turning point may not be a dramatic moment. It may be a quiet realization, a boundary, a new habit, or a different choice.
In this episode of Absolutely Focused Radio, Daniel "ThaBudd" Nelson explores how emotional drainers, one-sided relationships, digital distractions, and unhealthy patterns can quietly affect our focus, wellness, recovery, and personal growth.
Using AFR's Mind • Body • Purpose Framework, we discuss:
🧠 MIND
• Emotional awareness
• Reflection
• Thought patterns
• Mindfulness practices
❤️ BODY
• Stress reduction
• Healthy routines
• Recovery support
• Physical wellness
🎯 PURPOSE
• Identity
• Boundaries
• Authenticity
• Meaningful growth
Listeners will walk away with practical strategies, wellness tools, healthy coping techniques, and actionable insights designed to help protect their peace in a noisy world.
This episode is also supported by the AFR S5E3 Reflection Toolkit™, a guided companion resource designed to help you move from awareness to action using reflection exercises, boundary-setting prompts, wellness check-ins, and personal growth tools.
🌐 AFR Website:
www.absolutelyfocusedradio.com
🎓 AFR Learning Center:
www.absolutelyfocusedradio.com/courses/
🎧 AFR Resource Hub:
www.absolutelyfocusedradio.com/resources
📖 Explore AFR Books, Publications & Growth Resources:
www.absolutelyfocusedradio.com/afr-library/
Because sometimes your turning point isn't changing everything around you.
It's finally seeing clearly.
Stay Focused.
Smile On Purpose.
Behavior Follows Architecture™
Daniel "ThaBudd" Nelson
Founder & Host
Absolutely Focused Radio
#AbsolutelyFocusedRadio #PersonalGrowth #Mindfulness #MentalWellness #RecoveryJourney #EmotionalIntelligence #HealthyBoundaries #PurposeDriven #GrowthMindset #SelfAwareness #Wellness #RecoverySupport #MindBodyPurpose #Focus #Resilience #SelfImprovement #PersonalDevelopment #MentalWellnessTools #ReflectionToolkit #BehaviorFollowsArchitecture
Transcript
1
00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,520
Welcome to Absolutely Focused
Radio, a place where clarity
2
00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:07,360
meets conversation, where
reflection becomes direction,
3
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,360
and where growth is always
intentional.
4
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:15,840
Hosted by Daniel, your sobriety
buddy and joining him today from
5
00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,840
the Sobriety Crew, the man whose
curiosity makes people think
6
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:22,080
twice.
Curious Joe.
7
00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:27,520
Now, if you've been following
this journey, episode 1 helped
8
00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:30,200
us forgive the version of
ourselves that didn't know
9
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:33,840
better.
Episode 2 reminded us that
10
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,960
progress isn't just counting
gays.
11
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:41,640
Progress is growth.
And today, Episode 3, explore
12
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:45,480
something powerful.
What happens when clarity begins
13
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:48,200
changing your story?
Let's jump into the
14
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,800
conversation.
Daniel, I've got a question, but
15
00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:54,320
it's one of those questions
people don't answer the same way
16
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,720
twice.
You ever notice something about
17
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:59,280
insects?
Take ants, for example.
18
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:03,560
Hundreds of them moving in the
same direction, same trail, same
19
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,560
destination.
But every once in a while, one
20
00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:10,120
Ant suddenly stops.
Then it turns and walks
21
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:13,360
somewhere completely different.
Now here's what I always
22
00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:16,200
wondered.
Was that Ant lost, or did it
23
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,280
discover something the others
couldn't see yet?
24
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:22,480
So let me ask you something.
What happens when everyone
25
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:25,120
around you believes they know
where your life should be going,
26
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,760
but something inside you begins
pulling you somewhere else?
27
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:32,920
And here's the real question.
If someone interrupts your story
28
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:37,240
and tells you how you should
tell it, is it still your story?
29
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:41,640
Joe that question connects
directly to something we said in
30
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:46,480
the last episode.
In episode 2, we talked about
31
00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:50,280
clarity, and we said something
important.
32
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,440
Clarity begins when you start
changing the things around you.
33
00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:59,680
And when that begins happening,
life starts shifting.
34
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:04,920
Your routines change.
Your habits change.
35
00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:10,360
Sometimes even the people around
you react differently because
36
00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:15,800
they're used to the old version
of you, the old patterns, the
37
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:22,040
old habits, the old routines.
But clarity doesn't just change
38
00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:25,560
your thinking.
Clarity starts changing your
39
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:30,800
environment, And when your
environment changes, your story
40
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,880
begins evolving.
You know what that reminds me
41
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,520
of?
A Caterpillar.
42
00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:40,080
A Caterpillar spends most of its
life crawling quietly, slowly,
43
00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:43,160
leaf to leaf.
But then something happens.
44
00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:47,200
It enters A cocoon, and when it
comes out, it's no longer
45
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,960
crawling.
Now it's flying.
46
00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,200
But imagine the other
caterpillars watching that.
47
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:56,760
They might say, wait a minute,
that's not how caterpillars
48
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,320
move.
But the Caterpillar didn't ask
49
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,640
for permission.
It didn't ask for approval.
50
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,960
It just grew.
Sometimes people are still
51
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:08,120
looking for the Caterpillar when
the butterfly has already
52
00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:10,840
arrived.
That's powerful, and I think
53
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:14,680
about it like technology.
Imagine your mind like a phone.
54
00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:19,240
Every day people try installing
apps on your system.
55
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:24,080
Opinions, expectations, fear,
doubt.
56
00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:28,720
Next thing you know, your system
slows down.
57
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:34,400
Too many programs running, too
many notifications, too many
58
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:39,440
voices.
Sobriety, growth, mindfulness.
59
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:43,880
That's when you begin asking a
powerful question.
60
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:50,080
Which apps belong on my system
and which ones need to be
61
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,240
uninstalled?
Because sometimes the biggest
62
00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:57,400
battlefield in life is the one
between your ears.
63
00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:05,080
People think positivity means
pretending everything is OK, but
64
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:08,080
real positivity isn't
pretending.
65
00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:12,760
Positivity is not smiling while
drowning.
66
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:19,000
Real positivity is choosing
clarity even when the mind gets
67
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,079
loud.
That reminds me of something
68
00:04:21,079 --> 00:04:23,200
funny.
You ever sing in the shower?
69
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:26,960
You feel like a superstar.
You're hitting notes, feeling
70
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:29,360
confident.
You think you sound amazing.
71
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,680
But then someone outside the
bathroom hears you and says,
72
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,840
hey, that sounds a little
different out here.
73
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,560
Sometimes feedback isn't
criticism.
74
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:43,240
Sometimes it's calibration, like
when your GPS suddenly says
75
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:46,440
recalculating route.
It's not telling you you're
76
00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:49,240
lost, it's just helping you get
where you're going a little
77
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:52,800
smarter.
Hey, hey, not to interrupt this
78
00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:57,520
great conversation, but real
quick, if you're enjoying this
79
00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:01,200
moment with Daniel and Curious
Joe, do us a favour.
80
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:05,040
Subscribe like.
And.
81
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:10,440
Share the show because you never
know who might need to hear this
82
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:13,680
today.
Think of it like sending someone
83
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:17,200
a good song.
When something hits your soul,
84
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:22,720
you pass it along.
All right, let's jump back into
85
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:25,520
the conversation.
There's a moment many people
86
00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:27,760
remember.
A quiet moment.
87
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:32,240
Maybe you're holding a drink.
Maybe you're about to make a
88
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:36,560
decision and something inside
your mind whispers.
89
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:42,280
Maybe not, but sometimes we
ignore that whisper.
90
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:47,960
Then the next morning comes and
you remember that moment, that
91
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:54,760
voice, that moment of clarity.
That moment is your turning
92
00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,040
point.
Here's something powerful I've
93
00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:58,800
learned.
We are the authors of our
94
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,800
future.
The words we repeat, the
95
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:06,600
thoughts we feed our mind, they
become the script our
96
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:11,640
subconscious follow.
Your subconscious doesn't know
97
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:15,000
when you're joking, it simply
listens.
98
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:20,560
Which means sometimes growth
begins with something simple,
99
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:23,520
changing the words you say to
yourself.
100
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,360
You know what this reminds me
of?
101
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,920
Bees.
Bees visit hundreds of flowers.
102
00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:32,800
Different shapes, different
colors, different places, but
103
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,440
the honey they create, that
honey belongs to the bee, not
104
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:38,920
the flowers.
And maybe life works the same
105
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,400
way.
We gather experiences from many
106
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:45,720
places, but the meaning, the
meaning belongs to us.
107
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,880
Thank you for spending this
moment with us on Absolutely
108
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:52,120
Focused Radio.
If today's conversation sparked
109
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:56,600
something inside you, we created
something special for you, a
110
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,200
reflection Toolkit built
directly from this episode's
111
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,560
conversation.
You can download it in the
112
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,640
Resources section of our
website.
113
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:07,360
And if you're just joining the
journey, you may want to revisit
114
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,720
episodes one and two.
Each episode builds on the last.
115
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:15,760
Until next time, smile on
purpose, because you are the
116
00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:18,960
purpose.
Stay focused, stay growing.
117
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:22,960
Stay awesome.
Daniel, before we go, let me ask
118
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:26,320
you one more question.
If clarity changes your story,
119
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:30,320
what happens the moment you
finally decide to trust
120
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,520
yourself?
Used to walk with my head down.
121
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,800
Shadows were my only friend.
Now I'm standing in the
122
00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,080
spotlight.
This is not
00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,520
Welcome to Absolutely Focused
Radio, a place where clarity
2
00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:07,360
meets conversation, where
reflection becomes direction,
3
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,360
and where growth is always
intentional.
4
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:15,840
Hosted by Daniel, your sobriety
buddy and joining him today from
5
00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,840
the Sobriety Crew, the man whose
curiosity makes people think
6
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:22,080
twice.
Curious Joe.
7
00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:27,520
Now, if you've been following
this journey, episode 1 helped
8
00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:30,200
us forgive the version of
ourselves that didn't know
9
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:33,840
better.
Episode 2 reminded us that
10
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,960
progress isn't just counting
gays.
11
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:41,640
Progress is growth.
And today, Episode 3, explore
12
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:45,480
something powerful.
What happens when clarity begins
13
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:48,200
changing your story?
Let's jump into the
14
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,800
conversation.
Daniel, I've got a question, but
15
00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:54,320
it's one of those questions
people don't answer the same way
16
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,720
twice.
You ever notice something about
17
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:59,280
insects?
Take ants, for example.
18
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:03,560
Hundreds of them moving in the
same direction, same trail, same
19
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,560
destination.
But every once in a while, one
20
00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:10,120
Ant suddenly stops.
Then it turns and walks
21
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:13,360
somewhere completely different.
Now here's what I always
22
00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:16,200
wondered.
Was that Ant lost, or did it
23
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,280
discover something the others
couldn't see yet?
24
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:22,480
So let me ask you something.
What happens when everyone
25
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:25,120
around you believes they know
where your life should be going,
26
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,760
but something inside you begins
pulling you somewhere else?
27
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:32,920
And here's the real question.
If someone interrupts your story
28
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:37,240
and tells you how you should
tell it, is it still your story?
29
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:41,640
Joe that question connects
directly to something we said in
30
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:46,480
the last episode.
In episode 2, we talked about
31
00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:50,280
clarity, and we said something
important.
32
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,440
Clarity begins when you start
changing the things around you.
33
00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:59,680
And when that begins happening,
life starts shifting.
34
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:04,920
Your routines change.
Your habits change.
35
00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:10,360
Sometimes even the people around
you react differently because
36
00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:15,800
they're used to the old version
of you, the old patterns, the
37
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:22,040
old habits, the old routines.
But clarity doesn't just change
38
00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:25,560
your thinking.
Clarity starts changing your
39
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:30,800
environment, And when your
environment changes, your story
40
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,880
begins evolving.
You know what that reminds me
41
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,520
of?
A Caterpillar.
42
00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:40,080
A Caterpillar spends most of its
life crawling quietly, slowly,
43
00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:43,160
leaf to leaf.
But then something happens.
44
00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:47,200
It enters A cocoon, and when it
comes out, it's no longer
45
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,960
crawling.
Now it's flying.
46
00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,200
But imagine the other
caterpillars watching that.
47
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:56,760
They might say, wait a minute,
that's not how caterpillars
48
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,320
move.
But the Caterpillar didn't ask
49
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,640
for permission.
It didn't ask for approval.
50
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,960
It just grew.
Sometimes people are still
51
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:08,120
looking for the Caterpillar when
the butterfly has already
52
00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:10,840
arrived.
That's powerful, and I think
53
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:14,680
about it like technology.
Imagine your mind like a phone.
54
00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:19,240
Every day people try installing
apps on your system.
55
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:24,080
Opinions, expectations, fear,
doubt.
56
00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:28,720
Next thing you know, your system
slows down.
57
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:34,400
Too many programs running, too
many notifications, too many
58
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:39,440
voices.
Sobriety, growth, mindfulness.
59
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:43,880
That's when you begin asking a
powerful question.
60
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:50,080
Which apps belong on my system
and which ones need to be
61
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,240
uninstalled?
Because sometimes the biggest
62
00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:57,400
battlefield in life is the one
between your ears.
63
00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:05,080
People think positivity means
pretending everything is OK, but
64
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:08,080
real positivity isn't
pretending.
65
00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:12,760
Positivity is not smiling while
drowning.
66
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:19,000
Real positivity is choosing
clarity even when the mind gets
67
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,079
loud.
That reminds me of something
68
00:04:21,079 --> 00:04:23,200
funny.
You ever sing in the shower?
69
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:26,960
You feel like a superstar.
You're hitting notes, feeling
70
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:29,360
confident.
You think you sound amazing.
71
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,680
But then someone outside the
bathroom hears you and says,
72
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,840
hey, that sounds a little
different out here.
73
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,560
Sometimes feedback isn't
criticism.
74
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:43,240
Sometimes it's calibration, like
when your GPS suddenly says
75
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:46,440
recalculating route.
It's not telling you you're
76
00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:49,240
lost, it's just helping you get
where you're going a little
77
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:52,800
smarter.
Hey, hey, not to interrupt this
78
00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:57,520
great conversation, but real
quick, if you're enjoying this
79
00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:01,200
moment with Daniel and Curious
Joe, do us a favour.
80
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:05,040
Subscribe like.
And.
81
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:10,440
Share the show because you never
know who might need to hear this
82
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:13,680
today.
Think of it like sending someone
83
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:17,200
a good song.
When something hits your soul,
84
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:22,720
you pass it along.
All right, let's jump back into
85
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:25,520
the conversation.
There's a moment many people
86
00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:27,760
remember.
A quiet moment.
87
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:32,240
Maybe you're holding a drink.
Maybe you're about to make a
88
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:36,560
decision and something inside
your mind whispers.
89
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:42,280
Maybe not, but sometimes we
ignore that whisper.
90
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:47,960
Then the next morning comes and
you remember that moment, that
91
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:54,760
voice, that moment of clarity.
That moment is your turning
92
00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,040
point.
Here's something powerful I've
93
00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:58,800
learned.
We are the authors of our
94
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,800
future.
The words we repeat, the
95
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:06,600
thoughts we feed our mind, they
become the script our
96
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:11,640
subconscious follow.
Your subconscious doesn't know
97
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:15,000
when you're joking, it simply
listens.
98
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Which means sometimes growth
begins with something simple,
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00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:23,520
changing the words you say to
yourself.
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00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,360
You know what this reminds me
of?
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00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,920
Bees.
Bees visit hundreds of flowers.
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00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:32,800
Different shapes, different
colors, different places, but
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00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,440
the honey they create, that
honey belongs to the bee, not
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00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:38,920
the flowers.
And maybe life works the same
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00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,400
way.
We gather experiences from many
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00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:45,720
places, but the meaning, the
meaning belongs to us.
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00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,880
Thank you for spending this
moment with us on Absolutely
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00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:52,120
Focused Radio.
If today's conversation sparked
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00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:56,600
something inside you, we created
something special for you, a
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00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,200
reflection Toolkit built
directly from this episode's
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00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,560
conversation.
You can download it in the
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00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,640
Resources section of our
website.
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00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:07,360
And if you're just joining the
journey, you may want to revisit
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00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,720
episodes one and two.
Each episode builds on the last.
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00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:15,760
Until next time, smile on
purpose, because you are the
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00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:18,960
purpose.
Stay focused, stay growing.
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00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:22,960
Stay awesome.
Daniel, before we go, let me ask
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00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:26,320
you one more question.
If clarity changes your story,
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what happens the moment you
finally decide to trust
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00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,520
yourself?
Used to walk with my head down.
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00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,800
Shadows were my only friend.
Now I'm standing in the
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spotlight.
This is not