You Made It: Protect the Peace You Fought For | Absolutely Focused Radio S4E20

0:00 You know, for some of you listening, this past year was a blur. Maybe it was foggy, just trying to make it through each day. Some of you might have seen glimpses of clarity here and there, little moments of light breaking through. But for others, 2025 might have been your worst year yet. Rock bottom kind of year. The kind where you didn't know if you'd make it to the other side. And here's what I want you to understand. That year, it chiseled you. Every hardship, every moment you wanted to give up but didn't.

0:40 That shaped you. Those changes you're feeling right now, the ones that don't feel comfortable yet, they're proof you survive. You're still here, still breathing, still fighting, and that alone, that's worth celebrating. Congratulations, you made it. Now let's talk about what comes next and how to protect the peace you're building. Welcome back to Absolutely Focused Radio, where healing meets humor and truth meets transformation. I'm Anna Hiriuego, your announcer and vibe setter for today's journey, today's episode, emotional triggers and relationship dynamics and sobriety. Because once you start healing, not everyone will celebrate your peace.

1:38 And we're going to break down why that happens and what to do about it. Joining me are the familiar voices of the sobriety crew. Daniel, your sobriety buddy, and our anchor, Jane Marie with the stats and facts. Marcus, the motivator, bringing that inspiration for the nation. Chucky chip tech on deck and Comic Relief when things get too heavy. Curious, Joe, asking the questions we're all thinking and be you, reminding us to, well, be yourself. Thanks, Anna. Family, today we're going deep. Triggers, emotional manipulation, guilt trips, the whole cocktail that tries to pull you back into your old self.

2:25 But we're also talking about the tools that can help, including technology that's changing the recovery game. Let's talk about how to spot it, handle it, and protect your peace while staying true to your recovery. Let's start with the facts. According to the latest data from SAMSA, that's the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Over 74% of adults who perceive they had a problem with drugs or alcohol consider themselves to be in recovery or to have recovered. That's millions of people. You're not alone in this. But here's the thing about recovery.

3:06 Research shows when one person in a social circle changes, the entire group dynamic shifts. That's not just psychology, it's biology. Your calm energy can make others feel their chaos louder. So you mean when I stop reacting to the nonsense, suddenly I'm the problem? Exactly. It's projection. People get uncomfortable when your healing highlights their avoidance. Your peace becomes a mirror they don't want to look into. Healing disturbs the ecosystem. Some folks were thriving off your chaos. When you pull back, they feel the silence as rejection.

3:48 But peace doesn't need permission. And here's what we know. Among the 67.8 million adults who perceive they ever had a mental health issue, almost 67% consider themselves to be in recovery or to have recovered. Recovery is real, it's possible, and it's happening right now. Say that again, brother. When you raise your standards, expect resistance. Not everyone's meant to climb that mountain with you. Some are just spectators yelling from the valley. And you know what? That's their choice. Your job is to keep climbing.

4:28 And some of them yelling you've changed, when really you just stopped accepting disrespect. You stopped being convenient. You started being real. Exactly, BI tell people all the time your software has been updated but they still trying to connect with an old version. That's a compatibility issue. Time to update your connections, not downgrade your progress. I love that update. Complete rebooting piece mode, no backwards compatibility allowed. Let's talk about those emotional triggers. A trigger isn't just what makes you angry, it's what reminds you of pain you haven't processed yet.

5:12 It's your nervous system saying, I remember this danger even when you're safe now. Here's a fact. Triggers live in memory pathways. When we feel unsafe, even emotionally, our brain lights up like it's back in danger. The key is awareness, not avoidance. You can't heal what you refuse to feel. So what do you do when someone keeps pressing those buttons on purpose like they got a manual to your trauma or something? That's when boundaries graduate to action. You don't owe anyone access to your peace. Distance isn't disrespect. It's discipline. It's self preservation.

5:53 It's wisdom. And sometimes protecting your peace means sitting with your emotions instead of trying to fix them. Feelings aren't enemies. Their signals, their information. Listen to them. Yeah, and Speaking of signals, let's not ignore the tech side. Mute buttons exist for a reason. People block, unfollow, unsubscribe. The digital detox is part of your defense system. And check this out. Research shows that sobriety apps can be effective tools for managing cravings, staying motivated, and connecting with support networks. We're talking apps that track your sober days, send you reminders, connect you with community.

6:37 Technology's got your back if you use it right. That's real. A study of mental health apps found they had significant effects on reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety. Apps like I Am Sober, Nomo and Sheer Recovery are helping people stay accountable. About 85% of Americans own smartphones, making mental health apps widely accessible, especially for people in remote areas without treatment centers nearby. You heard the crew. Sometimes peace is just three taps away, and sometimes it's in your pocket, ready when you need it. That's right. The goal isn't to escape people, it's to master your responses, whether that's through technology, therapy, or just learning to pause before you react.

7:27 That's real freedom. Now, the hardest part? Responding without losing yourself. Emotional maturity means choosing the calm path, even when chaos calls your name. Even when everything in you wants to explode. There's a science to this too. Self regulation activates the prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain that controls logic and empathy. You're literally rewiring your reactions every time you pause instead of react. You're building new neural pathways. So when someone's yelling and I stay quiet, I'm not weak, I'm rewired.

8:12 Exactly that. Silence isn't surrender, it's strength with volume turned down. It's you choosing who you want to be instead of reacting from who you used to be. And you know what else? Every time you don't match someone's low energy, you're voting for your higher self. Cast enough votes and your whole life changes. You become the person you've been working toward. Sometimes the best comeback is peace. Let them wonder how you stayed grounded. Let your calm be the loudest thing in the room. Yeah, hit him with that emotional airplane mode. Still connected to purpose, just not to the drama. And if you need backup, apps like Headspace and Calm offer guided meditations designed specifically for managing stress and cravings.

9:04 Daily check insurance and mood tracking keep you more in tune with your feelings and can help you identify triggers before they take you out. We're building a language of peace right here, and I love it. Mental health meets technology meets wisdom. Let's talk numbers, because hope is built on truth. Here's what the research tells us About 75% of people who develop an addiction do recover. Three out of four people. That's not a small number. That's the majority. Now, relapse is part of many recovery journeys. Relapse rates for substance use disorders are between 40 and 60%, similar to other chronic conditions like hypertension and asthma.

9:52 But here's the key. Relapse doesn't mean failure. It means you're human. It means you try again. And family. This is important. More than half of people in remission from substance use disorder achieved it without ever receiving formal treatment. That's natural recovery through personal change, community support and self help. There are many paths to healing. So you're saying there's no one right way to get sober? Exactly. Some people need inpatient treatment, some do it with therapy and 12 step programs, some use sobriety apps and online communities, some do it with family support and personal commitment.

10:45 What matters is finding what works for you and sticking with it. And here's the real inspiration. Research shows among people with past year substance use disorder, nearly 46% considered themselves to be in recovery or to have recovered almost half. That means recovery is not just possible, it's common. You can do this. All right, before we move forward, we got a question from a listener goes by starting over in Seattle, they wrote. How do I handle family members who keep bringing up my past mistakes during holiday gatherings?

11:31 It's like they can't see the new me. Starting over, I hear you, and here's the truth. Some people are more invested in who you were than who you're becoming because your past gave them control and your growth that threatens it. They don't know how to relate to the new you yet. You can't force people to see your transformation, but you can stop defending it. Your peace doesn't need their approval. Your sobriety doesn't require their validation. Studies actually show that identity change takes time for others to recognize. Your family's lag isn't personal, it's neurological. People are wired to see patterns, and you're breaking the pattern they knew.

12:21 Give them time, but don't wait for permission to be yourself. And if they still can't see it, that's their blind spot, not your set back. You keep building, you keep growing. Let your life be the evidence. Exactly, it's like trying to show someone a 4K video on a flip phone. The upgrade is real, they just don't have the screen for it yet. But that doesn't make your progress any less valid. Love that Chucky starting over. We see you keep going. You're not who they remember, and that's the whole point.

13:02 Recovery isn't just avoiding relapse, it's rediscovering joy. Alignment is when your inner world and outer actions finally agree when who you are and how you live match up. Studies show gratitude practices literally reshape neural pathways. More gratitude, less anxiety. Your brain physically changes when you focus on what's good. That's not woo woo, that's neuroscience. Gratitude is your Wi-Fi to joy. The more you connect, the stronger the signal. Start with one thing today. Just one thing you're grateful for.

13:42 Joy ain't a place you reach, it's a frequency you return to. Some days you'll feel it strong, some days it'll be quiet. Both are valid. So keep your antenna tuned to peace. Statics just noise, not identity. And hey, if life gets too loud, just remember you've got an internal mute button now. Use it. Apps, boundaries, meditation, whatever keeps you connected to your purpose. I like that sometimes I forget peace is allowed to be quiet. That's the beauty of it, Joe Sobriety gives you the chance to build a new soundtrack, one with less chaos and more clarity.

14:23 One will you get to choose the volume. And on that note, you're creating something beautiful. Keep tuning in, keep showing up, keep building. Before we close, let's take a moment. We're stepping into a brand new year, 2026. Happy New Year to every single person listening, whether you're on day one or day 1000 of your journey, you're here and that matters more than you know. Let's send you into this year with affirmations from the crew, declarations for your 2026. Let these words land where they need to.

15:08 In 2026, I choose peace over pressure every day, in every way. This is my year of alignment and unstoppable momentum. I'm not who I was, I'm who I'm becoming. My healing is valid. My boundaries are wisdom, not walls. In 2026, I trust my process and honour my progress. Every step forward counts. I update my life software daily, no bugs, no back doors, no buffering. 2026 is my reboot year and I'm running premium new year, new operating system, same authentic me. I am not my past. I am the author of my peace. In 2026, I write my own story with clarity and courage. My narrative, my rules, my healing. I'm learning, I'm growing, and that's enough for today, 2026. Let's go One question, one answer, one step at a time. Progress over perfection.

16:11 Family healing doesn't make you better than anyone, it just makes you better than who you were yesterday. Happy New Year, stay focused, stay grounded, and keep building your peace. In 2026, you've been chiseled by the hard times, shaped by the struggle, and now you're stepping into your string. Congratulations on making it here. You survived the blur, the fog, the worst days. Now let's see what you build next. Because you're not just surviving anymore, you're learning to live.

16:53 This has been absolutely focused radio reminding you recovery is your comeback. Until next time, stay awesome and stay absolutely focused. Happy New year everyone. 2026 is yours. Let's make it unforgettable. This podcast is created to inspire, educate and motivate. It is not intended to provide medical or mental health advice and should never replace guidance from a qualified professional. If you ever feel you need immediate support, please call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline in the United States, available 24/7 for treatment referrals. You can also reach the S AM HSA Helpline AT180662-H E LP-4357. If you are outside the US, please check local crisis hotlines in your country.

17:59 This fire inside is the best part of me and power and fears. I'll always rise with courage. Ablaze I reach. For the skies. Kill my power. I stand my ground in the face of the storm. I will back down with every heartbeat. I'm strong and free. This fire insight is the best part of me. Power and fears always rise With courage and blaze I reach for the skies.

18:46 And power and fears always rise. With courage and blaze I reach for the sky.