You Made It: Protect the Peace You Fought For | Absolutely Focused Radio S4E20

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You know, for some of you
listening, this past year was a

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blur.
Maybe it was foggy, just trying

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to make it through each day.
Some of you might have seen

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glimpses of clarity here and
there, little moments of light

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breaking through.
But for others, 2025 might have

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been your worst year yet.
Rock bottom kind of year.

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The kind where you didn't know
if you'd make it to the other

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side.
And here's what I want you to

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understand.
That year, it chiseled you.

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Every hardship, every moment you
wanted to give up but didn't.

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That shaped you.
Those changes you're feeling

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right now, the ones that don't
feel comfortable yet, they're

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proof you survive.
You're still here, still

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breathing, still fighting, and
that alone, that's worth

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celebrating.
Congratulations, you made it.

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Now let's talk about what comes
next and how to protect the

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peace you're building.
Welcome back to Absolutely

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Focused Radio, where healing
meets humor and truth meets

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transformation.
I'm Anna Hiriuego, your

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announcer and vibe setter for
today's journey, today's

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episode, emotional triggers and
relationship dynamics and

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sobriety.
Because once you start healing,

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not everyone will celebrate your
peace.

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And we're going to break down
why that happens and what to do

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about it.
Joining me are the familiar

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voices of the sobriety crew.
Daniel, your sobriety buddy, and

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our anchor, Jane Marie with the
stats and facts.

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Marcus, the motivator, bringing
that inspiration for the nation.

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Chucky chip tech on deck and
Comic Relief when things get too

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heavy.
Curious, Joe, asking the

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questions we're all thinking and
be you, reminding us to, well,

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be yourself.
Thanks, Anna.

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Family, today we're going deep.
Triggers, emotional

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manipulation, guilt trips, the
whole cocktail that tries to

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pull you back into your old
self.

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But we're also talking about the
tools that can help, including

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technology that's changing the
recovery game.

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Let's talk about how to spot it,
handle it, and protect your

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peace while staying true to your
recovery.

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Let's start with the facts.
According to the latest data

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from SAMSA, that's the Substance
Abuse and Mental Health Services

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Administration.
Over 74% of adults who perceive

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they had a problem with drugs or
alcohol consider themselves to

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be in recovery or to have
recovered.

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That's millions of people.
You're not alone in this.

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But here's the thing about
recovery.

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Research shows when one person
in a social circle changes, the

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entire group dynamic shifts.
That's not just psychology, it's

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biology.
Your calm energy can make others

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feel their chaos louder.
So you mean when I stop reacting

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to the nonsense, suddenly I'm
the problem?

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Exactly.
It's projection.

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People get uncomfortable when
your healing highlights their

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avoidance.
Your peace becomes a mirror they

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don't want to look into.
Healing disturbs the ecosystem.

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Some folks were thriving off
your chaos.

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When you pull back, they feel
the silence as rejection.

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But peace doesn't need
permission.

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And here's what we know.
Among the 67.8 million adults

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who perceive they ever had a
mental health issue, almost 67%

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consider themselves to be in
recovery or to have recovered.

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Recovery is real, it's possible,
and it's happening right now.

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Say that again, brother.
When you raise your standards,

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expect resistance.
Not everyone's meant to climb

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that mountain with you.
Some are just spectators yelling

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from the valley.
And you know what?

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That's their choice.
Your job is to keep climbing.

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And some of them yelling you've
changed, when really you just

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stopped accepting disrespect.
You stopped being convenient.

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You started being real.
Exactly, BI tell people all the

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time your software has been
updated but they still trying to

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connect with an old version.
That's a compatibility issue.

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Time to update your connections,
not downgrade your progress.

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I love that update.
Complete rebooting piece mode,

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no backwards compatibility
allowed.

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Let's talk about those emotional
triggers.

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A trigger isn't just what makes
you angry, it's what reminds you

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of pain you haven't processed
yet.

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It's your nervous system saying,
I remember this danger even when

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you're safe now.
Here's a fact.

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Triggers live in memory
pathways.

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When we feel unsafe, even
emotionally, our brain lights up

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like it's back in danger.
The key is awareness, not

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avoidance.
You can't heal what you refuse

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to feel.
So what do you do when someone

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keeps pressing those buttons on
purpose like they got a manual

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to your trauma or something?
That's when boundaries graduate

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to action.
You don't owe anyone access to

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your peace.
Distance isn't disrespect.

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It's discipline.
It's self preservation.

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It's wisdom.
And sometimes protecting your

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peace means sitting with your
emotions instead of trying to

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fix them.
Feelings aren't enemies.

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Their signals, their
information.

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Listen to them.
Yeah, and Speaking of signals,

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let's not ignore the tech side.
Mute buttons exist for a reason.

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People block, unfollow,
unsubscribe.

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The digital detox is part of
your defense system.

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And check this out.
Research shows that sobriety

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apps can be effective tools for
managing cravings, staying

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motivated, and connecting with
support networks.

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We're talking apps that track
your sober days, send you

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reminders, connect you with
community.

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Technology's got your back if
you use it right.

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That's real.
A study of mental health apps

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found they had significant
effects on reducing symptoms of

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depression and anxiety.
Apps like I Am Sober, Nomo and

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Sheer Recovery are helping
people stay accountable.

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About 85% of Americans own
smartphones, making mental

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health apps widely accessible,
especially for people in remote

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areas without treatment centers
nearby.

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You heard the crew.
Sometimes peace is just three

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taps away, and sometimes it's in
your pocket, ready when you need

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it.
That's right.

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The goal isn't to escape people,
it's to master your responses,

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whether that's through
technology, therapy, or just

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learning to pause before you
react.

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That's real freedom.
Now, the hardest part?

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Responding without losing
yourself.

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Emotional maturity means
choosing the calm path, even

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when chaos calls your name.
Even when everything in you

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wants to explode.
There's a science to this too.

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Self regulation activates the
prefrontal cortex, the part of

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your brain that controls logic
and empathy.

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You're literally rewiring your
reactions every time you pause

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instead of react.
You're building new neural

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pathways.
So when someone's yelling and I

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stay quiet, I'm not weak, I'm
rewired.

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Exactly that.
Silence isn't surrender, it's

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strength with volume turned
down.

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It's you choosing who you want
to be instead of reacting from

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who you used to be.
And you know what else?

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Every time you don't match
someone's low energy, you're

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voting for your higher self.
Cast enough votes and your whole

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life changes.
You become the person you've

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been working toward.
Sometimes the best comeback is

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peace.
Let them wonder how you stayed

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grounded.
Let your calm be the loudest

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thing in the room.
Yeah, hit him with that

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emotional airplane mode.
Still connected to purpose, just

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not to the drama.
And if you need backup, apps

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like Headspace and Calm offer
guided meditations designed

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specifically for managing stress
and cravings.

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Daily check insurance and mood
tracking keep you more in tune

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with your feelings and can help
you identify triggers before

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they take you out.
We're building a language of

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peace right here, and I love it.
Mental health meets technology

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meets wisdom.
Let's talk numbers, because hope

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is built on truth.
Here's what the research tells

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us About 75% of people who
develop an addiction do recover.

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Three out of four people.
That's not a small number.

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That's the majority.
Now, relapse is part of many

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recovery journeys.
Relapse rates for substance use

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disorders are between 40 and
60%, similar to other chronic

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conditions like hypertension and
asthma.

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But here's the key.
Relapse doesn't mean failure.

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It means you're human.
It means you try again.

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And family.
This is important.

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More than half of people in
remission from substance use

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disorder achieved it without
ever receiving formal treatment.

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That's natural recovery through
personal change, community

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support and self help.
There are many paths to healing.

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So you're saying there's no one
right way to get sober?

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Exactly.
Some people need inpatient

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treatment, some do it with
therapy and 12 step programs,

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some use sobriety apps and
online communities, some do it

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with family support and personal
commitment.

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What matters is finding what
works for you and sticking with

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it.
And here's the real inspiration.

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Research shows among people with
past year substance use

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disorder, nearly 46% considered
themselves to be in recovery or

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to have recovered almost half.
That means recovery is not just

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possible, it's common.
You can do this.

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All right, before we move
forward, we got a question from

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a listener goes by starting over
in Seattle, they wrote.

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How do I handle family members
who keep bringing up my past

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mistakes during holiday
gatherings?

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It's like they can't see the new
me.

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Starting over, I hear you, and
here's the truth.

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Some people are more invested in
who you were than who you're

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becoming because your past gave
them control and your growth

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that threatens it.
They don't know how to relate to

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the new you yet.
You can't force people to see

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your transformation, but you can
stop defending it.

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Your peace doesn't need their
approval.

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Your sobriety doesn't require
their validation.

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Studies actually show that
identity change takes time for

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others to recognize.
Your family's lag isn't

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personal, it's neurological.
People are wired to see

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patterns, and you're breaking
the pattern they knew.

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Give them time, but don't wait
for permission to be yourself.

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And if they still can't see it,
that's their blind spot, not

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your set back.
You keep building, you keep

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growing.
Let your life be the evidence.

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Exactly, it's like trying to
show someone a 4K video on a

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flip phone.
The upgrade is real, they just

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don't have the screen for it
yet.

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But that doesn't make your
progress any less valid.

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Love that Chucky starting over.
We see you keep going.

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You're not who they remember,
and that's the whole point.

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Recovery isn't just avoiding
relapse, it's rediscovering joy.

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Alignment is when your inner
world and outer actions finally

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agree when who you are and how
you live match up.

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Studies show gratitude practices
literally reshape neural

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pathways.
More gratitude, less anxiety.

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Your brain physically changes
when you focus on what's good.

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That's not woo woo, that's
neuroscience.

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Gratitude is your Wi-Fi to joy.
The more you connect, the

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stronger the signal.
Start with one thing today.

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Just one thing you're grateful
for.

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Joy ain't a place you reach,
it's a frequency you return to.

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Some days you'll feel it strong,
some days it'll be quiet.

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Both are valid.
So keep your antenna tuned to

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peace.
Statics just noise, not

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identity.
And hey, if life gets too loud,

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just remember you've got an
internal mute button now.

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Use it.
Apps, boundaries, meditation,

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whatever keeps you connected to
your purpose.

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I like that sometimes I forget
peace is allowed to be quiet.

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That's the beauty of it, Joe
Sobriety gives you the chance to

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build a new soundtrack, one with
less chaos and more clarity.

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One will you get to choose the
volume.

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And on that note, you're
creating something beautiful.

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Keep tuning in, keep showing up,
keep building.

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Before we close, let's take a
moment.

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We're stepping into a brand new
year, 2026.

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Happy New Year to every single
person listening, whether you're

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on day one or day 1000 of your
journey, you're here and that

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matters more than you know.
Let's send you into this year

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with affirmations from the crew,
declarations for your 2026.

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Let these words land where they
need to.

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In 2026, I choose peace over
pressure every day, in every

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way.
This is my year of alignment and

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unstoppable momentum.
I'm not who I was, I'm who I'm

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becoming.
My healing is valid.

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My boundaries are wisdom, not
walls.

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In 2026, I trust my process and
honour my progress.

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Every step forward counts.
I update my life software daily,

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no bugs, no back doors, no
buffering. 2026 is my reboot

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year and I'm running premium new
year, new operating system, same

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authentic me.
I am not my past.

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I am the author of my peace.
In 2026, I write my own story

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with clarity and courage.
My narrative, my rules, my

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healing.
I'm learning, I'm growing, and

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that's enough for today, 2026.
Let's go One question, one

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answer, one step at a time.
Progress over perfection.

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Family healing doesn't make you
better than anyone, it just

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makes you better than who you
were yesterday.

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Happy New Year, stay focused,
stay grounded, and keep building

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your peace.
In 2026, you've been chiseled by

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the hard times, shaped by the
struggle, and now you're

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stepping into your string.
Congratulations on making it

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00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:41,160
here.
You survived the blur, the fog,

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the worst days.
Now let's see what you build

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00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,600
next.
Because you're not just

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00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,880
surviving anymore, you're
learning to live.

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This has been absolutely focused
radio reminding you recovery is

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your comeback.
Until next time, stay awesome

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00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:09,079
and stay absolutely focused.
Happy New year everyone. 2026 is

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yours.
Let's make it unforgettable.

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This podcast is created to
inspire, educate and motivate.

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00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:24,640
It is not intended to provide
medical or mental health advice

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00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,680
and should never replace
guidance from a qualified

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00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,920
professional.
If you ever feel you need

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00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:35,680
immediate support, please call
the 988 Suicide and Crisis

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00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:41,080
Lifeline in the United States,
available 24/7 for treatment

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00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:45,160
referrals.
You can also reach the S AM HSA

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00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:53,320
Helpline AT180662-H E LP-4357.
If you are outside the US,

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00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:56,360
please check local crisis
hotlines in your country.

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00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:04,920
This fire inside is the best
part of me and power and fears.

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I'll always rise with courage.
Ablaze I reach.

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For the skies.
Kill my power.

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I stand my ground in the face of
the storm.

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I will back down with every
heartbeat.

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I'm strong and free.
This fire insight is the best

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00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:42,200
part of me.
Power and fears always rise With

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00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:45,480
courage and blaze I reach for
the skies.

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00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:53,000
And power and fears always rise.
With courage and blaze I reach

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00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:53,960
for the sky.