Digital Detox for the Soul: Reclaiming Presence | Season 4, Episode 23

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Season 4 episode 23 Digital
detox for the soul.

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Absolutely.
Focused Radio.

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Before we go any further, wait,
can you hear me testing 1-2

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three.
OK, before we go any further, I

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want you to answer something.
Not out loud, not to me, just to

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your cell.
What are you checking for that

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no screen has ever been able to
give you?

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Think about it every time you
pick up your phone without

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thinking, every time you
refresh, every time you scroll

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just one more time.
What are you actually looking

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for?
And don't rush the answer.

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You might hear something
different every time you listen

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to this.
If you don't know yet, that's OK

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Stay with me.
By the end of this conversation,

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you will.
Fragmentation.

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It's not a breakdown, it's a
breakup.

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A quiet 1.
You and your attention divorced,

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you and your clarity separated,
you and yourself.

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Living in different time zones
if you're not falling apart, if

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you're just scattered and
scattered feels normal until you

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remember what whole feels like.
Think of it like this.

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Your brain is a hard drive, but
instead of organizing files into

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folders, you've got 47 tabs
open, 12 apps running in the

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background, and a pop up ad
screaming at you every 90

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seconds.
You don't need more storage, you

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need fewer tabs.
You wake up tired, you scroll

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without seeing, you talk without
listening.

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You move, but you're not really
here.

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That's fragmentation and the
wildest part.

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You've been living like this so
long you think it's normal.

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Neurologically, your brain is
wired to seek novelty.

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Every notification, every scroll
and every refresh, it triggers a

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micro hit of dopamine.
It's not pleasure, it's

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prediction.
Your brain thinks maybe this

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time something important, and
occasionally it is.

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That's what makes the loop so
powerful.

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So you keep checking, not
because you want to, because

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you've been trained to like
Pavlov's dog, except the bell is

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abuzz and the reward is anxiety.
Your nervous system reacts to

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perceived threat before it
evaluates context.

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Lion Chasing me and 17 unread
emails are different situations,

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but your stress response
activates before logic catches

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up.
You're not staying informed.

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You're stress testing your
nervous system 47 times a day.

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Fragmentation isn't a moment,
it's 1000 micro moments.

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You're in a conversation, but
your mind is composing a text.

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You're eating, but you're
watching a video.

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You're here, but you're also
everywhere else.

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You lose awareness of your loss
of awareness.

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We call it multitasking, but
it's not productivity, it's

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fragmentation with better
branding.

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Your body knows.
Imagine your nervous system is a

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garden hose.
When you're calm, water flows

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smooth, sleep deepens, digestion
works, clarity returns.

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But when you're fragmented, that
hose gets kinked.

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Chronic fragmentation keeps your
body in low grade fight or

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flight.
Cortisol, elevated sleep,

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shallow mind scanning.
You're not resting, you're

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buffering.
Let me tell you about a Tuesday.

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Nothing special, just a Tuesday.
I woke up, reached for my phone.

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One notification, just one, I
thought.

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But one became 22, became 55,
became an hour.

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And by the time I finally got
out of bed, I had already lived

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a dozen other people's mornings.
I knew what they ate, what they

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thought, what they were mad
about.

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But I didn't know how I felt.
I had information but no

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presence.
That's the trade.

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You scroll for connection, but
what you get is distance.

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Distance from yourself, from
your day, from the people right

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in front of you.
And here's the truth.

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Presence isn't something you
find.

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It's something you protect.
Every time you reach for your

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phone when you're bored, every
time you scroll when you're

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uncomfortable, you're
outsourcing your inner life.

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You're saying I can't handle
this moment alone, but you can.

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You just forgot how.
Let.

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Me tell you about a Tuesday.
Nothing dramatic, just ordinary.

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I woke up, reached for my phone.
One notification, just one.

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I thought one became 22, became
55, became an hour.

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And if I'm honest, this wasn't
years ago, this was recent.

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I still do this sometimes, even
knowing everything I'm telling

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you right now, By the time I got
out of bed, I had already lived

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a dozen other people's mornings,
but I didn't know how I felt.

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I hadn't checked in with myself,
just checked everyone else.

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I had information, but I didn't
have myself.

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And that's the part that stings,
because I teach presents, I talk

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about focus, and some mornings I
still disappear.

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Doom scrolling isn't casual.
It's a neurological loop.

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The brain encounters something
distressing and instead of

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processing it, it keeps
searching.

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The loop never closes.
There is no all clear, just more

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input.
Doom scrolling isn't research,

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it's rumination with Wi-Fi.
And sometimes I dress it up as

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staying informed.
But if I'm really honest, I'm

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anxious and I'm looking for
something to calm me down.

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Safety isn't informational, it's
physiological.

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It's the breath you're taking
right now.

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If this is serving you, stay
connected to the work.

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Protect your future self.
Let's continue.

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Technology is neutral,
unconscious use is not.

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If you don't alter your
attention, the algorithm will.

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Sobriety isn't just about what
you put in your body.

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It's about what you put in your
nervous system.

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And technology feeds your
nervous system, too.

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If your attention is chaotic,
your emotions get louder.

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If your emotions get louder,
your coping gets shakier.

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Everything is connected.
Step one morning boundary, no

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phone for 30 minutes.
Step 2.

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Notification audit.
Step three.

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No phone zones.
Step 4.

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Scroll timer.
Step 5.

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Evening reset.
These aren't productivity hacks,

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they're sovereignty practices.
Change a morning, you change a

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pattern.
Change a pattern, you change a

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light.
Every time you choose presence

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over distraction, you vote for
your future.

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Peace isn't found on your phone,
it appears when you put it down.

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You are not broken, you are over
stimulated, you are overloaded

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and you are tired.
I know because I've been there.

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I still visit there more than
I'd like to admit.

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Put the phone down.
Close your eyes, take one full

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breath.
Notice you're still here.

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You weren't looking for the
world, you were looking for

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yourself.
And sometimes I still forget

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that too.
But every time I remember, I

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come back, and so can you.
I am present.

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I protect my attention like I
protect my sobriety.

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I do not need to know everything
to feel safe.

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My piece is more valuable than
any notification.

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I am the author of my focus.
I return to myself again and

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again.
That's season 4, episode 23.

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If this becomes a reset for you,
let it. close the tab.

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Open your life.
You know what you were looking

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for, now stop scrolling.